Broken Dreams

When you were a baby, I gave you my word that I would love and protect you from harm as if you were from my seed; I told you that I would make sure that you were always treated the same, and if you wish for it, it would be yours.

I am sorry that I was not able to keep my promise as I trust a system that I knew was never made to give a black child a chance.  I allow a person to get their hands on you as their only thought was and is always how they can survive. And if they had to live a life of poverty, you should have to live one also.

What is the love of a parent if they do not wish more for their child; what is the love of a parent if they have jealousies in their heart and soul for a child that they birth; as lies can be told over and over but the trust is one that sees its way into the light. 

I gave all the men in my family my world that you would grow up to break a cycle that many who came before you were not able. The cycle of not having a father in your life that loves you; the cycle of not being able to do the little things like play baseball; and growing up in a house under the thumb of a government program.

I can talk about what the numbers show; however, what are numbers as it is those that will say they are not valid. I can talk about what life is like to grow up poor; however, that is a life that I personally do not know.

So, what can I talk about?  I will make sure that when you become a man, you know the truth. I will make sure that you know you know why you were robbed of your youth.  You will understand why you became a tool used for section 8, the day that I gave my life so that you could have one, the day that racism was so intense that these so-called laws of justice were blind, you will know that on 5/30 that you were stolen from your family like a slave.

I am not going to bit my lip or tap dance around the truth I am not going to sit here and play nice just to stroke the ego of a crazy person, I will never forget or will I forgive what they did to you and why. As a young man, you should never have to see the things that you are going through now. No young black man should. You are and have become a stat, one that says that you will be in jail or dead by the time you reach 18th.

Your life will never be the same; you will not get the chance to see things the same way; you will not get the opportunity to live out your dreams. You now live a life that is based on the first of the month. Your health now is cover by a state that does not care about you as they only see a future DOC draft choice. I dare anyone to say that these numbers are a lie; let someone tell me that your odds in life were made better by the decision of a racist.

My soul is substantial, as I knew never to bring you back to this state. I was told that justice is not and will never come from here; fight for you in the south. You had a better chance at life in a state where those that came before you were slaves than in one where so-called free men walk. 

You wanted so much from life, and you had a family that was going to do all that they could to make sure that you have it, but I fail to keep you safe. I allowed you to be sold on the slave block as the Judge said that was the life you will live now.

I play over and over in my mind what I could have done differently; what could I had done to keep you safe and as a man that keeps me up at night unable to sleep, as I see the life that you live. I understand that no one gives a dam about you, as they only see you for what they can get from you. No child should be the life support of their parent. No young man should become the man of the house. I am sorry that you have been put into that position.

You now live in a concrete jungle, one that is made like a jail, your phone calls are monitoring like those young men in the other world locked-up, as you are living in prison; and in a house that is set up for you to end up in real one.

You are a smart young man, and I am sure that you have learned to survey as you told me you were going to have to do. You know that it is better to play dumb than to be smart, as being smart will get you called names, or cost you your life.

I might not know a lot, but what I do know is what it is like to grow up to learn that the person who talks about how much they love you; lied to you. I understand why your mom doesn’t speak as she needs those 5 min calls to make it. I would refuse to talk to you that way. I was told lies as a young man that sounded good, but I became a man; and I will never forgive those that lied, as I am sure you will never.

I give you my word, and my word is bond that before I leave this earth, I will never let those that put you into this place of hell forget what they did to you. You have about four more years max, and one with good behavior and you will be FREE from your bondage as you can seek early release. 

Operation "Bayonet"

Forgiveness is something that is not for me to give, and it is not something that I will do. I am up reading about how the Nazi hunters would travel the earth looking for anyone that profit or help to destroy Jews. I ask this question for those that tend to forgive so easy, and they also just happened to be the descendants of slaves; why?

Have you all been that brainwashed into a feeling that it is your “God” that taught you or told you that it is better to forgive, as I have read the bible and I have not been able to find those words. I did come across the lyrics that talk about an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth; however, I miss that slap my face, and I turn the other cheek part. As brother Malcolm talks about this, and I will sum it up, slap my face, and I will break your hand.

Well, what was done to Zion; what was done to my family was more than a slap in the face; It was and is a Judicial Lynching, and I am not their “God,” nor am I in the position to forgive anyone of them. I am more like Simon Wiesenthal, and less like a Booker T. Tell me that something terrible has happened to one of those that stood in a courtroom using that so-called justice to lynch me; I am going to smile and sip me some tea

Life or death is all that we have, and what we do in the middle is on us. What David Gotzh did was brag to me about his German background. He was proud to let me and others know that I was nothing but a nigga to him, and Zion was nothing but bait use to go nigga hunting. Judge Susan Kennedy-Sullivan brag about how she could use her powers to lynch me in the courts, and I had no ability to do anything about it.

When this is over, and at some point, the government will say that it is; I am not going to go away; I am not going any dam where. I told them, and I made it clear; I am going to take this fight to my grave. The powers that be do not give a hoot if you all live or die as you are nothing but a number on a sheet of paper; the sad part about this is that when this is over, I wonder how many of you keep on being just a number.

I say do some reading into history and understand how the church and a fear of “God” were used to keep blacks in a mental slave state. To this day, many of you are still in that mindset; we have these so-called Negro leaders who have one job, and that is to keep one foot on our backs to keep up in place. These so-called slave catchers, as the real ones look like the same slaves they were catching, are used to keep black people down.

We tend to look at these young folks and question why and how; they are walking about as if they have nothing to live for; no, they understand that at one date and time, they are going to leave this world, and they are never coming back. Well, I know that also, as such, I have to do all in my power to make sure that no other black child or man is lynch like Zion and my family was. Wake up and understand that It is your “God” job to forgive, not mines! And, I sure in hell, do not forget.

I am still here! Operation "Bayonet”