CANCER!

At what point do we as black people investigate the person in the mirror and take responsibility for the conditions that we are in?

We have been conditions to look for help from everyone but self. What more can the government, your parents, or for that anyone do for you if you do not do shit for yourself? No one owes you anything, and this welfare mindset is one that only grows like cancer among black people.

Trump is the best thing that happens to black people, and another four years of him will be the best thing as we have cancer that needs to die off so that we can start over fresh and new. I do not understand how we love to talk about the white man and how he keeps his foot on our backs and I see educated black folks on here talking about how hard it is. It is only hard because you have become a mentally lazy person that thinks this government owes you something.

No one is going to save black people, as black people are not savable. I look at the young man who is 25 that shot at the police last week, and I say at what point did someone know that the young man was unsavable?

Yes, it is a fact that at some point, it does not make a difference what you do; you cannot save a person. I think about all that David Gothz and Judge Susan Kennedy-Sullivan did to Zion, and I ask myself who holds 100% responsible for what happened to him? Furthermore, it comes back to Joyce Washington and Jamia.

Both of them chose to lie in court for self-benefits; it was never about what is best for Zion; what is best to make sure that he makes it; have a life; growing up in a healthy home with people that love him. No, it was about what can I get from the government to help me, and for them, it was benefits of food stamps.

Now, I have no problem with anyone getting food stamps; what I have a problem with is when you get them to survey. I have been in this conversation with others about how white men benefit from the government more than anyone.

He does; however, he takes to them to build on what he has; not to live day-to-day. The government just cut the $500 unemployment, and I do not care; why?

For the past four months, many have been sitting at home, not doing shit but waiting on that link card or that check to hit. Where they out looking to make a job, but looking for a job, go out, and make a job. I was painting my porch yesterday, and I watch; I watch as the Hispanic men and women near me came home from doing some type of work; as the sister down the street was playing music and cooking on the front porch as her link just came in. The brothers next door had been sitting out since 6 am drinking cheap ass hot beer.

Now, what is wrong with those pictures? We just do not get it, and I am sorry those days of let us try are over; we are at the stage where we want a handout. I know the story; I know many of us feel that we are owed something for what our family did to build the US.; however, what are you doing now to keep building on it?

I am not one to say that anyone can make it; as sorry they cannot; you become what you know and what you know is a life of nothing. Education is the only way that a black person is going to stop living a life of hand-out. Black people do you know that we hand down link cards and section 8 to our children like that is something to be proud of. I see many talking about how they do not have a laptop so that their child can do their schoolwork; well, if your child does not have one, that is your fault.

You can find money to get high; you can find money to give to the shoe company; hair company, to any and all but you, cannot find money to invest in your own child; that is not the government's fault or job. We are a dam joke; our ex-slave master gave us a god and got our dumb ass up in churches prying for him to help us; shit helps yourself.

I look at the young man that is now dating Joyce and I have no respect for him, and to me, he is not a man. How in hell can you call yourself a man when you are living and eating on the life of a child. As a man, what you lay down with is what you are; the same goes for a woman. COVID-19 is doing what the government could not do; it is killing off people at a rate that only helps the economy.

Give any other group one year of free help and they are going to come out at the end of that year, making it on their own; we get ten years of free help, and we are looking for another 10. I do not know how we got to that point; what I do know is that in able to get rid of cancer, you have to kill it off so that it cannot grow; well, we have cancer.

In 2020 we are not going to vote in the numbers that we need, and once more, we are going to need the help of our ex-slave master children to save us, as we are like children and will not do for self.

If I am wrong, show me. I look at those in my own family, and I walk away from them as they are no better; they turned a blind eye as they have this same cancer.

Cream Always Floats

It has been some time since I have blogged.  COVID-19 and all the unrest in America have made it hard not to cry over what life Zion must be living. The last that we talked to or saw him was just before he graduated from 8th grade. Joyce's bipolar was on full force that day as she verbally attacked me and spat in my face. I filled a police report; however, just like Cook County...nothing was done.

If I had done to Joyce what she did to me, they would have locked me up on-site because Cook County is known for putting black men in jail. In that respect, it seems American is good at that.

Well, I had gotten Zion a laptop for high school and was going to send it to him; however, I made up my mind that I am not going to allow Joyce or anyone to keep playing games.

Zion needs so much, and it is deplorable that he is in a home with a woman that is still using her body to live and using Zion to get a Link for housing, then allowing another man to reside in said house. I never understood how a man could say he is the man of the house when it is a section 8 house. Alternatively, how he can say that he is a man when he is eating from a table that is paid for by Link in the name of a minor.

I think that our public aid system is a joke! Its primary purpose is to keep poor people in a poor mindset. So they do not have to work. The get Link and end up having many children.  So, I question what the motivation for anyone is to work and do better in life when doing such will cost them free housing and food.

I want to ask the Mayor of Chicago what her mission statement for the city is.  I see her talking about how the shootings and killings need to stop; however, I do not really think that she wants them to stop. Too many people are making money off these young black and brown boys killing each other. Trust me, not one of them wants to bring an end to the crime.

I want to ask the Cook County State’s Attorney Fox how it is that I file a police report, and nothing is done, but Joyce can spit in my face, and the police do nothing. Why call the police when it seems that their mission is to only arrest as many black men as they can.

Zion will get some public aid laptop or, I am sure, one of these so-called helps the poor give away laptops to black students with the hope that mothers like Joyce do not sell them. I know that this will pass. I know that one day Zion is going to reach an age that he is going to say enough is enough. He surrounded by people with no hopes or dreams.  He has to motivate himself since he does not have anyone in his life to push him.

He is around people that live off public help, and I understand that these big companies are the main ones getting public help. You need to understand the mindset, though; they get public help to make millions, not to get a Link to feed themselves with.

I was at that 8th-grade graduation and the only ones with masks on where the non-black teachers. I looked around and was just shocked at how in 2020, the slave mindset is still in full effect. I do not expect anyone to reach out to me and talk to me about this, because this is a conversation that they do not want to have.

I am going to end on this note.  I will be voting for Vice President Biden in this upcoming election; however, in my soul, I would love to see Trump win. In the next four years, Trump can do more to help black folks than Biden will. We need someone to come and just cut us off; take away all the public help and force us to do better... and yes, some will not make it, but the cream always floats to the top.

CHOKE ME OUT!

Today I was coming from a job in the city, and I stop to see if Zion school had their drive-by graduation and they were.

So I park my car down from the school and walk up as I did not want Joyce Crazy self to see me...

Well, I do not know how or who told her, as the only person I saw that knew me was Zion...

Well, I was on the other side of the school standing outside with others and 3 older sisters were standing near me.

Now, Joyce walked her ass over to me and go up in my face and spit on me; she started screaming at me, and those ladies ask her what was wrong with her.

Now, she did all this because she knows that I am not going to touch her as I do not hit women, just something that I do not do.

Next, she called 911 and was telling lies to them on the phone as she wanted them to come and Choke me out.

 Now, this was during graduation, and that just made it crazier.. There was a police car there with two female CPD as they were there to escort the students in their cars..

So 911 told her that it was a car there and she went over to them. I kept taking pictures as she told more lies to them.

After Zion's name was called, I walked over to the car and spoke with the officers, and I do not know what she told them besides telling lies that I had an OP on me, and they said they told her I do Not. ..

Now, what do I do; you see calling the police on Black men is not known just what White Women; sad as it is; black women have been doing this for years.. One thing that my dad told me that stands true today; any women that call the police on you; do not give a dam if you live or die..

I was in a fuck up mood; the police could have come, and that shit could have got south, but like I said, what can a black man do? 

I do not have ONE woman in my family that will check her; my Aunts, mother, and all others just let her do this; get into my face, spit on me, and wow… I started recording as it was not the first thing that came to my mind.

FYI, the picture of Zion was taking for me by one of those older ladies.. she took my phone and said she was going to get me a picture of my Son;  and she told Joyce to get out of the picture. Joyce did not know she was taking the picture for me.

Now I want you to tell me what this does for Zion; how is this mental healthy for him? It is not, and I keep saying over and over that Joyce is Bipolar; as you do not grow out of that, or overcome that. She was in my face like she has done something.

The seed was planted in Zion from Danny and me; we are the ones that made sure he has the best school, and his environment was where he could grow to be whatever he wanted to be..  What was done to this boy will do down in history how to destroy black boys.

Call the Police?

I was reading a story on someone page about calling the police, and I do not call them; I do not care what the reason or what is going on; I do not call the police as I do not trust them; black, white, brown, or yellow; they all police to me.

True story, when Joyce attack Danny in my house I called the police and I was arrested and taken to jail; everyone in my house knew the truth, but I was still taking to jail and when I asked the Black officer why I was going to jail; his words to me I shit you not; because I was the only man at the house.

Next true story, I made a complaint on that office, and he and a white one made my life a living hell I still filed more complaint. I was pulled over by the white one and was taken to jail for having an Illinois driving license with the name Mahdee Muhammad on it.  Once more, I shit you not, I was charged with having a fake ID. They said I had not legally changed my name.

They pull over was on some bullshit and I got sick during the stop, and per the ambulance driver, the officer and other police were talking about how he needed to justify the pullover. I told you all about the black officer that was not only his supervisor; however, he is a member of Alpha Phi Alpha Frat Inc. (that I had personal dap months before)

They all stood there and made up something to charge me with, and that was the story this is the story they came up with. The officer saw me pulled over sick, and he was there to help me and found out I had a fake ID. If this were not 100% real, some would say that I was making this up.

I had to go to Markham court seven different times over a year before the State of Illinois drops the case.  I had my birth record, my passport, and school record and legal document all to show my name is Mahdee Muhammad, and none of that made one dam difference They only drop the case because they could not get the officer to come to court.

This story is one of the many bullshits I had to deal with when it came to Joyce and the case with Zion and a dirty cook county police, black and white.  For these reasons, I do not call the police as I do not trust them. One of my bros asked the question since he is a police officer now and does that make him different now; for me, that would be a Yes.

You see, I know many police; shit I have one that is like a brother to me, and I know in my heart, in the end, he is police and when on the line, will he support me or his so-called brother in blue and I do not know. What I do know is that I am a black man in America, and I am always going to be one, and for that reason alone, my life is not worth a bucket of warm piss.

The sad part of all this is the fact that as a black man, I fight with black women and men about being black and how I need to forget and forgive as life is too short. I am one black man that does not fear the brothers on the street; I fear those who are police and who think they are not black anymore.

As these black folks do not think they are black anymore; they have somehow overcome their blackness

I get more help from non-black than blacks people; I have more non-black that feel my pain as to many that look like me feels that I need to forget; wow, let that sink in! When you or anyone question my blackness, just know that I will never forget that I am a field negro,

I do not pretend or do I want to be a house negro; as in the end, we all are still just Negros in Master's eyes.

Where are the Black Fathers at?

As I review all these stories in the news about black men being kill, I keep asking the question, where are the fathers at?

We have a problem, and it is nothing new; there are too many young men coming up without a father or father type in their life.

I have been going over in my mind how do I address all the bullshit with Zion; I have done my best to bit my lip and keep my feelings to myself; however, it is about time that I make this clear.

There is nothing; not one thing in this world that is going to keep me from having a father to son talk with Zion when he turns 14 in August. The games that have been played with this young man are criminal in nature and sick in others. Zion is living in a house of prison, and he will know that he does not have to live that way.

To have him begging for love, to want to see his family, and to be lied to time after time breaks my heart. Zion graduated from 8th grade, and he is going to high school in the city, and we are going to get him a laptop and some clothes (he does not and should not have to beg or get anyone hand out cloths). I was told to take the laptop over to someone's house, and Zion might get his birth mother to takes him to get it.

I said HEL No! I am going to send it to him or put it in his hands and let him know do not let anyone take it or sell it. Enough is enough and too much cause the cycle of crazy to never stop. I see and hear about what is being done and how people in my family walk on eggshells as to just see his face or hear his voice is enough for them to pretend this shit is healthy for him.

Fact: Zion had his childhood stolen from him and like it or not; he is about to be a man, and I can live with what I have and will do for him. I do not look back over the years and have any regret as I did all in my power to make sure that he had a life.

I watch his great-grandfather and great-grandmother go crazy; I saw personally how his grandmother would think that she talks to dead people and was not shocked when she was committed to a mental hospital.

What did these people think; that Zion was not going to grow up, that he was going to eat the lies told to him. Like those lock up, he had to survive; he had to play the game, and just as anyone that is held against their will, he had to survive.

Our ex-slave master destroyed black people, and we have allowed their children to do it to us. I only want my children to be better than I; I want them to reach for the starts on my back. In the 14 years of Zion's life, Joyce has cost my family and I over $200k, and I am never going to forget or forgive her. What she did to Zion was never done in love; she does not know how to love as she was never taught what love is.

We have to stop this cycle, I bit my lip about the bullshit that my family has done to me; I bit my lip about the fact that I did not put my hand on David, he wanted me to be a nigga and lay hands on him, and I did my best to let the white man laws do my fighting, and that was dumb for me to think that laws written for him could be used for me.

Let me be clear as I can; we do not have a justice system; that is justice for black people; history shows that we, the ex-slaves, keep looking for justice from a group of people that hate us. My soul cries for my people as I know we are sick, and we are not going to get the help that we need.

I was talking to someone about hate, and they were saying to me that I should forgive those that have caused me harm. I told them BULL; I am a black Jew, and like my Jewish brothers, we do not forget or forgive. I take my hate to the grave.

Do you see clear folks saying they forgive those that do them wrong; hell no; they made a death penalty just for them. Dr, West said it best; Clear folks better be happy that black folk do not do onto them as they did onto us.

However, it will come a day that we will seek a tooth for a tooth!

Broken Dreams

When you were a baby, I gave you my word that I would love and protect you from harm as if you were from my seed; I told you that I would make sure that you were always treated the same, and if you wish for it, it would be yours.

I am sorry that I was not able to keep my promise as I trust a system that I knew was never made to give a black child a chance.  I allow a person to get their hands on you as their only thought was and is always how they can survive. And if they had to live a life of poverty, you should have to live one also.

What is the love of a parent if they do not wish more for their child; what is the love of a parent if they have jealousies in their heart and soul for a child that they birth; as lies can be told over and over but the trust is one that sees its way into the light. 

I gave all the men in my family my world that you would grow up to break a cycle that many who came before you were not able. The cycle of not having a father in your life that loves you; the cycle of not being able to do the little things like play baseball; and growing up in a house under the thumb of a government program.

I can talk about what the numbers show; however, what are numbers as it is those that will say they are not valid. I can talk about what life is like to grow up poor; however, that is a life that I personally do not know.

So, what can I talk about?  I will make sure that when you become a man, you know the truth. I will make sure that you know you know why you were robbed of your youth.  You will understand why you became a tool used for section 8, the day that I gave my life so that you could have one, the day that racism was so intense that these so-called laws of justice were blind, you will know that on 5/30 that you were stolen from your family like a slave.

I am not going to bit my lip or tap dance around the truth I am not going to sit here and play nice just to stroke the ego of a crazy person, I will never forget or will I forgive what they did to you and why. As a young man, you should never have to see the things that you are going through now. No young black man should. You are and have become a stat, one that says that you will be in jail or dead by the time you reach 18th.

Your life will never be the same; you will not get the chance to see things the same way; you will not get the opportunity to live out your dreams. You now live a life that is based on the first of the month. Your health now is cover by a state that does not care about you as they only see a future DOC draft choice. I dare anyone to say that these numbers are a lie; let someone tell me that your odds in life were made better by the decision of a racist.

My soul is substantial, as I knew never to bring you back to this state. I was told that justice is not and will never come from here; fight for you in the south. You had a better chance at life in a state where those that came before you were slaves than in one where so-called free men walk. 

You wanted so much from life, and you had a family that was going to do all that they could to make sure that you have it, but I fail to keep you safe. I allowed you to be sold on the slave block as the Judge said that was the life you will live now.

I play over and over in my mind what I could have done differently; what could I had done to keep you safe and as a man that keeps me up at night unable to sleep, as I see the life that you live. I understand that no one gives a dam about you, as they only see you for what they can get from you. No child should be the life support of their parent. No young man should become the man of the house. I am sorry that you have been put into that position.

You now live in a concrete jungle, one that is made like a jail, your phone calls are monitoring like those young men in the other world locked-up, as you are living in prison; and in a house that is set up for you to end up in real one.

You are a smart young man, and I am sure that you have learned to survey as you told me you were going to have to do. You know that it is better to play dumb than to be smart, as being smart will get you called names, or cost you your life.

I might not know a lot, but what I do know is what it is like to grow up to learn that the person who talks about how much they love you; lied to you. I understand why your mom doesn’t speak as she needs those 5 min calls to make it. I would refuse to talk to you that way. I was told lies as a young man that sounded good, but I became a man; and I will never forgive those that lied, as I am sure you will never.

I give you my word, and my word is bond that before I leave this earth, I will never let those that put you into this place of hell forget what they did to you. You have about four more years max, and one with good behavior and you will be FREE from your bondage as you can seek early release. 

Operation "Bayonet"

Forgiveness is something that is not for me to give, and it is not something that I will do. I am up reading about how the Nazi hunters would travel the earth looking for anyone that profit or help to destroy Jews. I ask this question for those that tend to forgive so easy, and they also just happened to be the descendants of slaves; why?

Have you all been that brainwashed into a feeling that it is your “God” that taught you or told you that it is better to forgive, as I have read the bible and I have not been able to find those words. I did come across the lyrics that talk about an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth; however, I miss that slap my face, and I turn the other cheek part. As brother Malcolm talks about this, and I will sum it up, slap my face, and I will break your hand.

Well, what was done to Zion; what was done to my family was more than a slap in the face; It was and is a Judicial Lynching, and I am not their “God,” nor am I in the position to forgive anyone of them. I am more like Simon Wiesenthal, and less like a Booker T. Tell me that something terrible has happened to one of those that stood in a courtroom using that so-called justice to lynch me; I am going to smile and sip me some tea

Life or death is all that we have, and what we do in the middle is on us. What David Gotzh did was brag to me about his German background. He was proud to let me and others know that I was nothing but a nigga to him, and Zion was nothing but bait use to go nigga hunting. Judge Susan Kennedy-Sullivan brag about how she could use her powers to lynch me in the courts, and I had no ability to do anything about it.

When this is over, and at some point, the government will say that it is; I am not going to go away; I am not going any dam where. I told them, and I made it clear; I am going to take this fight to my grave. The powers that be do not give a hoot if you all live or die as you are nothing but a number on a sheet of paper; the sad part about this is that when this is over, I wonder how many of you keep on being just a number.

I say do some reading into history and understand how the church and a fear of “God” were used to keep blacks in a mental slave state. To this day, many of you are still in that mindset; we have these so-called Negro leaders who have one job, and that is to keep one foot on our backs to keep up in place. These so-called slave catchers, as the real ones look like the same slaves they were catching, are used to keep black people down.

We tend to look at these young folks and question why and how; they are walking about as if they have nothing to live for; no, they understand that at one date and time, they are going to leave this world, and they are never coming back. Well, I know that also, as such, I have to do all in my power to make sure that no other black child or man is lynch like Zion and my family was. Wake up and understand that It is your “God” job to forgive, not mines! And, I sure in hell, do not forget.

I am still here! Operation "Bayonet”